Silent prayer can sound daunting and it is certainly something that some people find easier than others.  But it is good for everyone to try.  If prayer is a conversation with God, then it is a very odd conversation if, throughout it, we are simply talking at God and not letting God get a word in edgeways.  In all prayer there needs to be moments of silence to allow us to hear God's response.

However, silent prayer, or contemplative prayer, is about more than allowing times of silence in prayer, holding a subject for prayer before God, having said one’s piece and waiting attentively for God’s response. Silent prayer can have no agenda, no particular subject to be addressed beyond us – the creature - seeking to sit in the presence of our creator God, allowing the Holy Spirit to lead us and giving time to worship God without words.

 
Whether or not such pure, silent contemplative prayer is something you find fruitful or not, the cultivation of silence within us is of great use in all sorts of prayer. Our lives are busy and our minds mostly whirl with all sorts of thoughts and preoccupations. It is extremely hard at times to get our minds to still. Even the most everyday prayer can be full of distractions of these kinds. If we can learn the discipline of finding silence, cultivating it, then all our prayer will benefit as it gives a real chance to deepen relationship with God, to grow in self-awareness, joy and serenity.

 
Meditation and contemplation are often associated with the Eastern religions and it is true that in recent years Christianity has drawn on the wisdom and techniques of those religions and used their insights in a Christian context. But since the earliest centuries of Christianity there has been a strong theme, particularly in the monastic tradition, of silent prayer and contemplation. Maintaining silent prayer is something of an art. Like all arts, it benefits both from practice and the knowledge of the past wisdom of others and at the foot of this are 2 books which you might like to read.

The aim is to be still and silently aware of yourself in the presence of God. The basics of it are very simple. Essentially what you have to do is to get into a comfortable position in which you won’t need to move, get as still as you can both physically and mentally, turning aside from distractions. Then you hold the silence as long as you can. What follows is based on two basic techniques of awareness of the body and awareness of breathing which can be used either as a preparation for prayer or as an end in themselves. For this exercise I propose the final stage of the exercise moves on to an awareness of God in our breathing but you can use these two techniques in many other ways without this final stage.

You will need to read through what follows a couple of times to try to remember the ideas. Don’t break off once you have started your prayer time to re-read. It is much better to carry on from what you remember having read and seeing where it takes you. Learning these techniques takes time and you can re-read the material at the end to help you for the next time. You will need to allow about half an hour for this exercise.

How to make it as easy as possible for yourself:
• Use a chair that is comfortable, but not too comfortable – you don’t want to go to sleep! Sitting gently but firmly upright is best on a straight-backed chair.
• Don’t cross your legs, but plant your feet sole down on the floor in a relaxed position,
• Don’t try this when you are too tired, or you will go to sleep. (though bear in mind that some of the techniques are good to use when you are struggling to get to sleep).
• Find somewhere quiet, and where you will not be disturbed. I know of someone who uses her airing cupboard!
• Leave the phone elsewhere and chose a time when you do not expect to be interrupted.
• Think about lighting – does it matter to you how dark or light it is? Can you soften the light if that helps you?
• Think about whether you want something to focus on. Some people find a candle, a cross or another object that is reflective and calming helps.
• Music – does some reflective music in the background help you to settle down?
• Close your eyes or leave them half-closed with your eyes

Start by making sure you are comfortable on your seat. Notice your body, and how it feels on the chair. Is it comfortable – if not, adjust how you sit. Make sure there’s no tension in your neck or shoulders – stretch them out. Let your hands rest lightly in your lap. Some people like to keep their palms facing upwards as a sign of openness to God. Anyway make sure they rest lightly in a position where you will not need to move them. Make sure your elbows are comfortable. Feel how your back rests on the chair, and how your spine supports your back and runs down into your hips. Make sure your bottom is comfortable on the seat and notice how your thighs rest on the chair. Ensure your knees are comfortable, in a loose right-angle position. Wriggle your toes and make sure your feet are placed sole down on the floor, so you don’t need to move them. Be aware of how your body feels. Then go back to your head and notice how it balances on your spine (make sure it is relaxed), Then mentally check your shoulders, elbows and feel how your hands rest in your lap. Notice your spine and how it supports you. Notice how you sit in the chair, make sure you are relaxed but not slumped. Feel your knees and your feet supported by the floor. Just spend a few seconds on each part. Then go back over your body feeling from your head and working down to your toes again a few more times. The idea is to give your mind something to focus on that will help you wind down and find silence. And try to ensure that you are feeling the part of your body from inside, not observing it with your brain. Notice the sensations in your body, be aware of it. Don’t move – if you have an great itch at the end of your nose, for instance, don’t give in and scratch it, keep still and notice what it feels like, focus on it until it goes away. If you feel the urge to move, don’t give into it just be aware of the urge and the discomfort if any that gives rise to it.

You will find yourself distracted by thoughts too – the concerns of the day, the things you have forgotten to do, the things you need to do next, the things that are worrying you, or even the things that you are happy about – whatever. You need to lay these aside, however important they are, if you are to find some silence. So, as they come to mind, you need to acknowledge them and their importance (if they are important) but put them on one side for the moment. Some people find it helps to imagine a hold-all on the ground beside them and, when one of these thoughts comes to mind, simply take the thought, acknowledge it, and place it firmly in the hold-all until later. One way or another put them on one side. Try whatever works for you. Don’t in any sense blame yourself, just go back to where you were before the thought came.

Sounds are likely to distract you too, but they need not. Indeed the sounds around us can be a focus for prayer. If you become aware of a sound nearby, either simply be aware of it, and then put it on one side, like another distraction, or take it and offer it up in prayer: for instance, if you hear a police siren you can offer up a prayer for the emergency that it represents and for the people it will involve. Then move back to focus on awareness of your presence.

As you become stiller, notice your breathing. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Don’t deepen your breathing, just notice how you bring air into your body, and how you breathe it out. Feel the air coming in, and going out. Notice the rhythm of your breathing, Be aware of your nostrils, how the air comes into them; how it feels – is it cold, or warm or is it scented in any way? Notice whether your breath comes more through one nostril than the other, how the air passes down your throat through your chest and into your lungs. Notice how your breath comes out through your mouth – how does it feel? Spend some minutes just focussing your attention on your breath coming in through your nose and out through your mouth.

Now consider this: as you breathe in, you breathe in life, you breathe in the breath of God that gives you life. With each breath God sustains life in you. As you breathe in (and again, don’t deepen your breath) be aware that you are breathing in God who gives you life. Life comes and is sustained with each breath. Now notice your breath coming out of you. Think how you can breathe out all that is not of God, all that you wish to be free from. More and more the breath of God fills you up and you breathe out all that is other than God. Stay with this for a few minutes.

To finish, articulate a short prayer that comes from what you are feeling – for help if you feel frustrated by distractions; for thanks, if that is what you feel, just make it an honest prayer – after all God knows what you are feeling! Then give yourself some time just to come back to the world around you.